Kent earthquake appeal

    KENT EARTHQUAKE APPEAL

    A major earthquake measuring 4.8 on the Richter scale hit Kent with
    its epicentre in Folkestone.
    Victims were seen wandering around aimlessly, muttering "Faaackinell".
    The earthquake decimated the area causing approximately £30 worth of
    damage.
    Several priceless collections of mementos from Majorca and the Costa
    del Sol were damaged beyond repair.
    Three areas of historic burnt out cars were disturbed. Many locals
    were woken well before their giros arrived. Invicta FM reported that
    hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered and were still
    trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting
    had happened in Folkestone.
    One resident - Tracy Sharon Smith, a 15-year-old mother of 5 said,
    "It was such a shock, my little Chardonnay-Mercedes came running
    into my bedroom crying. My youngest two, Tyler-Morgan and Victoria-Storm
    slept through it all. I was still shaking when I was skinning up and
    watching Trisha the next morning."
    Apparently looting, muggings and car crime were unaffected and
    carried on as normal.
    The British Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of
    Sunny Delight to the area to help the stricken locals. Rescue workers
    are still searching through the rubble and have found large
    quantities of personal belongings, including benefit books, jewellery
    from Elizabeth Duke at Argos and Bone China from Poundland.
    HOW CAN YOU HELP?
    This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing parcels for those
    unfortunate enough to be caught up in this disaster. Clothing is most
    sought after - items most needed include:
    Fila or Burberry baseball caps

    Kappa tracksuit tops (his and hers)

    Shell suits (female)

    White sport socks

    Rockport boots

    Any other items usually sold in Primark.

    Food parcels may be harder to come by, but are needed all the same.

    Required foodstuffs include:

    Microwave meals, Tins of baked beans, Ice cream, Cans of White
    Lightning or Special Brew.

    22p buys a biro for filling in the compensation forms.
    £2 buys chips, crisps and blue fizzy drinks for a family of 9.
    £5 buys B&H and a lighter to calm the nerves of those affected.
    **BREAKING NEWS**
    Rescue workers found a girl in the rubble smothered in raspberry
    alco-pop. 'Where are you bleeding from?' they asked.
    " CHERITON " said the girl, "woss that gotta do wiv you?

    Please don't forward this to anyone living in Kent- oh, sod it, they
    won't be able to read it, anyway.

    Zitat von shiggsy;74606

    You need to speed up your internet connection schnitz this is about 10 years old (and was originally aimed at Essex).:)




    That was my thought too - unless the relentless spread of Estuary English has now reached as far as Maidstone, in which case I'd have to say Faackinell mate!

    Zitat von Argonaut;74619

    That was my thought too - unless the relentless spread of Estuary English has now reached as far as Maidstone, in which case I'd have to say Faackinell mate!



    You have to appreciate that Schnitz lives up on Dartmoor, a Cold desolate place on a typical summers day:grin2: the Internet connection goes only so far, once in a while the locals get together tie the handkercheifs in knots at the corners to ware as a head peice , put on their wifes underwear, then sit down together in a former Shepards over night hostilery, & drink gallons of apple juice untill fall a sleep, after several days out in the wild the locals make it home to face the music, & as punishment from their better halfs are made to sleep in the tractor shed with the other out door farm animals.


    After a further period of solitary living, it is that above mentioned time again:rofl:no wonder they can't keep up with the Internet:devilchilli:

    Those who risk nothing,achieve nothing,become nothing.

    Zitat von stevep840;74621

    You have to appreciate that Schnitz lives up on Dartmoor, a Cold desolate place on a typical summers day:grin2: the Internet connection goes only so far, once in a while the locals get together tie the handkercheifs in knots at the corners to ware as a head peice , put on their wifes underwear, then sit down together in a former Shepards over night hostilery, & drink gallons of apple juice untill fall a sleep, after several days out in the wild the locals make it home to face the music, & as punishment from their better halfs are made to sleep in the tractor shed with the other out door farm animals.


    After a further period of solitary living, it is that above mentioned time again:rofl:no wonder they can't keep up with the Internet:devilchilli:


    Okehampton Golf Club is an exception - it's just fabulous:top:

    Zitat von Nifty50;74631

    Okehampton Golf Club is an exception - it's just fabulous:top:


    I've played there twice now.... 45 degree angle on some of the fairways takes a bit of getting used to but I did enjoy it...


    Its only 5mins from my office and I also enjoy playing Trethorne GC at Launceston...

    Zitat von shiggsy;74663

    Maybe we need an 8 Series golf day?



    The 40's v 50's

    Are there many golfers out there? :hello:

    It could be difficult to coordinate as we are a fairly spread out group but worth considering.

    Zitat von stevep840;74677

    You've got some Hope:hmmmm: we Brits can't even organise an 8 series day!!!!



    Sad but true


    OK, how about Duxford in Cambridgeshire on 2nd May


    (Hope you don't mind me mentioning this Timm)

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